Who is this Donald freak who speaks like the kids who once wandered into my kitchen and told me of some teacher they detested, or test coming up,
It’s really big league!
I’d suggest a drinking game for every time he said it, but drinking games won’t drown him out, however great the exertion. In times like these, those of us who live elsewhere without a vote—those of us cringing in horror— I suggest making up some pastry dough. Roll over that ugly mug. Imagination is free.
Here’s a simple and very big league pie, a recipe from my food memoir, with love and sugar (two words clearly unknown to The Donald).
*Kidding: This is too tasty a pie for wasting on acrimony. A pie is peace on a plate.
Big League Apple Pie
What you need:
For pastry:
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2½ cups all-purpose flour
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1 teaspoon salt
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2 tablespoons granulated sugar
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1½ sticks cold unsalted butter, diced into small cubes
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½ cup vegetable shortening, cut into small cubes
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6-8 tablespoons ice water
for apple filling:
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8 cups tart apples, peeled, cored, cut into chunks
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3 tablespoons freshly-squeezed lemon juice
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½ cup granulated sugar
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3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
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½ teaspoon cinnamon
For pastry glaze:
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1 large egg yolk
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2 tablespoons granulated sugar
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